Body Positivity

Hey all! Sorry for the delay on getting back up on my blog - 1 whole month with no posts! I have been busy finishing my degree & having some time off to educate myself on matters and have a little break (keep your eyes peeled for the next blog post!!)

Today's blog is about something I have really opened my eyes to in these crazy past months while being safe at home in lockdown - and it's about BODY IMAGE.

From a personal perspective and to give you some insight, I am 5'9 (and a half) & have hips and curves, with an athletic frame. Now, had you have asked me 6 months ago or even 4 months ago how I felt about my body - it would have been a bit of a negative response with a lack of self belief. Each night out I found myself changing a few times before I felt comfortable in my outfit, often having to ask for reassurance from my housemates before I could feel confident in what I was wearing. I have never deemed myself overweight or unhealthy, but I would spend so much time comparing my body to those around me or the images I see online, people who, naturally, are much more petite and smaller framed. I found that I structured my image of beauty based on a framework that society reflects through online campaigns, runway models and fitness influences. These women (and men) are absolutely beautiful and rightly so are appreciated for their bodies and credit to them for their hard work, fortunate genetics or the help of cosmetic surgery! However, the level of appreciation this standard of beauty receives - should be found amongst other shapes and sizes more commonly seen in society as a whole, rather than a minority.

Now here's the thing - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that more slim frame being a standard of beauty - we should not be shaming anybody for their shape or size as long as we are healthy, we are all beautiful, however, the issue is trying to project this image of beauty as a collective for ALL women, is ridiculous and flawed. For myself, even when I am training and playing sport 5-6 times a week at a high standard, this ideal of trying to gain the body type that is seen online - is impossible! Yes, I could definitely work a bit harder and eat a little healthier, but the point is, I would still never fit the model that many of you will recognise today in runway models and so forth. My thighs have always been a bit chunky, my hips very wide (and a little squidgey) & a bit of a double chin - and that's ok!

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that we need to break down barriers of what defines beauty and how body shape and size contributes to this ideal, and spend time investing in ourselves and realising - we are ALL our own version of beauty. There are no two versions that fit the same model and society should value real, normal bodies, and not use the size of jeans or the weight on the scales to determine your level of self worth.

At 11 years old, I got my first period. I had already started going through puberty much earlier than a lot of my friends and I had already started to develop widening hips! I thought OH MY GOODNESS why am I like this and my friends aren't?? Even up to 15 there were still girls who were yet to develop and I almost thought there was something strange about me, because I had never been taught in school about different shapes and that this was in fact normal. So our perception of body image definitely starts from such a young age! So I do believe that knowing this, we need to educate young people the importance of feeling comfortable in your own skin, to feel confident in our bodies without using somebody else's as a benchmark for how we want to look and put less pressure in our minds to fit somebody else's model of beauty. Of course, it is good to have role models and goals and to push ourselves to be our own best version, but this must be realistic & without an out of reach goal and primarily without adding another pressure to life. There are so many pressures put on us every single day in many areas of our live, and our body image shouldn't be one of them.

In the UK - this stat surprised me when I read it - the average size of a woman is a size 16! 45% of women in the UK are wearing a size 16. So with this figure, why do we promote much smaller sizes so heavily within society??? If we have a target audience with a much wider range of sizes, why do companies still so heavily depend on *roughly* one size in a majority of their advertisement? This advertisement is definitely seeing some change, for example the brand PLT have began to have much more involvement of plus size models and shape models, but this is something that still needs work!

One amazing new fashion organisation that I really have found incredible for reflecting brands on all body sizes is DESYR. Desyr is very new and actually uses reviews of people of all sizes wearing clothing from popular brands with information on the true fit of such clothes on such body sizes - something that has been a massive gap in the market in allowing people to make an informed purchase on how it may fit them! I know I sometimes feel worse about my body size when I order a size 10 for example, in one brand and it fits nicely, but in another it is far too small and I suddenly have a feeling of "oh have I put on weight?!" etc! So this website is going to really help, I believe, our mental wellbeing when it comes to body image, just by seeing the clothes we see on the models, on normal, ranging bodies!

In our society, it is almost impossible to sit and not compare our bodies to those we see around us, but this is something I want to challenge. As a woman with stretch marks, cellulite and wobbly areas, I believe that we should ALL embrace our body image because it is unique and no one else can be the same as you. Nobody else is EVER going to live in your head so why on EARTH should you let them determine how you feel about you?

Beauty can only radiate when it comes from within, so I challenge you today, after reading this, to make a list - either in your head or out loud, of all the things you feel proud of in your image that are a part of what makes you, you.

Comparisons are easily done but it is all about changing our mindset. I often used to compare my athletic and curvy frame with that of Instagram models who are much slimmer and also, being entirely honest, I'd compare myself to many of my friends who are naturally much smaller in height as well as body size, who are nothing like me! Even if I had wanted to, this could not be me and why is it now that I am only finally realising it is not a realistic goal to compare myself and dishearten myself based on something I will never be? As a result of this sudden epiphany, I (by no means am fully confident yet in myself) will continue to grow and learn to be happy with my body and looks, remembering each time I go to compare myself with another, that actually that person too probably compares their body to someone else and has their own insecurities, therefore reflecting that nobody is "perfect" and that I must remember that self worth comes from within & my happiness can only depend on my reaction to my own image - something that will really improve my mental health too.

It feels good to be writing again & I really hope this spreads some positivity on learning to grow attached to the feeling of self love and body positivity!

Love as always & stay safe,

Lauren-Yasmin xx